Aquaman

From the depths of mediocrity most notably created during the Zack Synder era, the DC universe has floundered in a barren abyss created by it’s lack of creative content and weak story lines and so from that watery grave, a beacon of hope… a hero rises.

No, not a hero as the ending scene tells us… he’s more than that… he’s “Aquaman.”

Somewhere Vinny Chase and the boys are looking at that at saying to themselves “Even we think that’s corny as fuck.”

Corny, bland, stale, all apt adjectives to describe James Wan’s (Furious 7) take on the superhero genre in DC’s Aquaman.

And the sad thing about this origin story was that the blueprint for it was laid out beautifully in Patty Jenkins Wonder Woman, which appears more of an aberration of the DC universe rather than the guiding post that it so desperately needs.

There are things to like about Aquaman. The special effects are grand and beautiful, the creatures from the various underwater kingdoms are done well and the battle scenes that are created with a one take CGI lens are at times fantastic with great visual impact.

I like Jason Momoa as the lead character Arthur (Aquaman) as well but too often I felt like I needed more from him as his one-liners were good but pucnchless after that. It’s as if the sparing sessions with his onscreen co-actors stopped before it ever really began.

That could be a directing thing, a limited acting range for Momoa or lack of high-end co-workers to jab against.  Patrick Wilson (The Conjuring), King Orm, plays his younger half-brother with mommy-issues who desires to become “Ocean Master,” rule the sea and declare war on the land walkers.

He’s kind of an annoying 45-year privileged brat. Not really a Thanos kind of villain but it’s his desire that creates this drama so sink or swim we go.

Mera (Amber Heard) is the royal princess of one of the sea Kingdoms and love interest of Arthur.  She tracks him down, imploring him to seek the trident of the first king, unite the sea and stop King Orm from declaring war on the people of land.

Her character has her moments but there was absolutely no on-screen chemistry between her and Arthur for majority of the film. From the audience perspective you just know both of them are hot so they’re suppose to want to hook up right?

I guess. They eventually do develop a bond you can buy into if, and this is a big if… you manage to stay focused on the film long enough to get past it’s first hour of exposition where every little thing has to be explained.

“Let me tell you the story about your mother. Let me tell you about the story of the Kingdoms. Let me tell you the story about Atlantis, the Trident, our defenses….”

Ohh and while were at it lets throw a “Rocky Montage scene” in for the bad guy!

The secondary bad guy gets a montage scene!

That was so bad it had me laughing in my seat.

As you can tell I’m not a fan of Aquaman. Too much exposition from characters with severe mommy and daddy issues haphazardly twisted into a mildly entertaining story with great CGI.

Aquaman doesn’t belong in the depths of the sunken Titanic with Justice League and Batman vs. Superman. It’s more like that chum floating in the water. Something may take a nibble at it and actually like it but to many of us it’s just another thing floating in a ocean already filled with other garbage.